Saturday, April 19, 2008

Guest Blogger - Anne Rainey

Tomboys are girls too!

I want to thank Lucy for having me here to guest blog. It’s always such a thrill to have a chance to talk to readers.

Now, let’s get personal. :) I never knew calling someone a tomboy was an insult until my youngest daughter pointed it out to me one day. Kids are so much smarter than adults, aren’t they? I hadn’t given it much thought really. It’s how we describe a girl who doesn’t go for the skirts and heels. She plays sports and hates makeup. But, when my daughter asked me, “Mom, why do people say I’m a tomboy? I’m not a boy, I’m a girl.” It stopped me as nothing else could. I’d used that word to describe her so many times in the past, but the look on her face crushed me. I’d insulted her without realizing it. I’d inadvertently threatened her femininity. Even at a young age, girls want to feel feminine. I never knew she felt less feminine than her very girly sister until she talked to me that day.

I stopped calling her tomboy and made every attempt to express to her how beautiful I think she is. That was a few years ago. Lately she’s started to wear a little makeup and begun to use a straightening iron every morning before school. She’s still not a girly girl, but her confidence has improved and it shows.

My latest release with eRed Sage Publishing, Forbidden Fruit, sprung to life because of this conversation with my daughter. I wanted to show the world that even the girls who play sports and hate wearing skirts want to feel pretty.

My heroine Ava Sweet has a feisty nature and an inner vulnerability that drew me. Her outer strength and need to prove herself is so like my daughter. As I wrote this spicy, emotional tale I badly wanted to see Ava’s transformation. At the same time, I wanted to see her get the guy of her dreams whether she wore a skirt or not! And when the hero Luke McGiffin gets a load of Ava all dolled up, he’s ready to fight his way through the pack of men suddenly vying for her attention to get to her. When he catches her, it’s nothing short of explosive! But which Ava Sweet is he attracted to? The skirt and heels Ava or the jeans and t-shirt Ava?

You’ll have to read the story to find out. Ornery, aren’t I?

Now for a question. I love asking readers questions! LOL! Have you ever felt less feminine because of a label—no matter how innocent the label—placed on you? What would you say to people who think beauty is described in terms of heels, a skirt and measured at 36/26/36?

Post your answers in the comments section for a chance to win a free download of “Forbidden Fruit”.

Hugs and Happy Reading!
Anne Rainey
http://annerainey.com/
Touching Lace--out now--4 stars, Romantic Times
Forbidden Fruit--out now--FAR Recommended Read!

18 comments:

Jen said...

This is a great question you’ve posed. I think at one time or another in our life, someone somewhere has put a label on us. What I have realized is that you have to be comfortable in your own skin. You first have to be happy with who you are as a person. Attitude is everything. If you want to be more feminine, wearing a skirt, heels, and makeup is not going to accomplish that if you don’t feel feminine on the inside.

Liane Gentry Skye said...

Congrats on a fabulous, steamy read. Keep this up and we'll have to dub you the Princess of Passion LOL. As for beauty, I think Forrest Gump said it best...beauty is as beauty does. :)

cindy said...

Hey Anne, I have read Forbibben Fruit & I could definetly relate to it & to your daughter, my mom always called me a tomboy& said I was going to be just like my dad,& it can make you insucure. just keep letting your daughter know how proud you are of her,& maybe it wont take her as long as it took me to fit into her on skin. I know I have already told you, but I loved this book! Cindy

lainey bancroft said...

Oh, Anne! What a beauty of a loaded question. As the eldest of five girls, I have always been referred to as 'my father's only son'. Ha, I got boobs, legs, hey, I even have big 'girly' hair (which is under a ball cap or hardhat 90% of the time due to my job in construction)

I'm good with that!!! (Yes, good enough to be worthy of 3 exclamation points!) I've been with my dh 20 years (met him on a job site and I was a ....sight, according to 'girl rules') I clean up okay...when I want. When I don't...I actually feel LESS feminine trying to be feminine then when I just am what I am...

Sorry for the run on, this is something close to me as well. I have a very 'girly' daughter and oddly enough enough, I'm cool with that and her dad wants to turn her more to me. NO! She is what she is.

Like Jen says, you have to be comfotable. Comfortable IS sexy. End of story!

(Lucy, sorry for the betrayal. Sh*t they sting!)

Amy said...

Hi Anne, The book sound's great. I am going to have to read it.
As for your question. I am overweight so a lot of times my self-confidence will suffer from that. I have alway's been a girly girl so I have never been called a tomboy but I have been called fat

Amy said...

I have a quick question. I just bought Forbidden Fruit but can't find out how to download it. Can anyone tell me? At Samhain and Ellora's cave it takes mw right to the place to download the books. Thanks!

acdaisy95 said...

Congrats on the new release of Forbidden Fruit! Sounds like a great read.

As I was growing up, I was always huge. I have never been a call tomboy, but people would call me fat or I have a huge leg or other body part. :( I still remember when the mail man told me if I played sports because he said my legs were huge.

Brandy said...

I was raised to be a lady, but have never really felt feminine or pretty. I'm too shy, too reserved and I prefer to read a book than to socialize.
How I met, was dated and married my hubs I'll never know. He calls me beautiful, even though I don't feel it. Works for me.*G*


Lucy, I am so sorry to hear of your betrayal. Please know that you are looked upon with admiration. You truly are a lovely lady.

limecello said...

Hi Anne,

Thanks for visiting today. I really enjoyed your post. It's interesting how things we think are harmless can hurt people's feelings. As to a label... I never had one, really. I'm not a "tom boy" - but I'm not girly. I don't wear makeup, don't do my hair... wear duckie socks to court... and purple argyle...
I think one "non label" didn't hurt me, per se, but it rubbed me the wrong way. Some college friends got back together at our alma mater, and while I was visiting with the guys, somehow... I ended up telling a guy he was a more like a woman/girlfriend. [As in, I have no designs on him, his girlfriend can rest assured.] He then told me he thought of me as being sexless. I think we were both slightly offended (though we're good friends) -and we decided what he said to me was worse. I mean... he neutered me. Ouch.
As to the beauty question... I'd have to say - it's important for people to realize that beauty is so much more than looks. And definitely not what's just in all the magazines.

Michelle B said...

Hi Anne! Sounds like a great story. As for labels, hmmmm. I've been overweight in varying degrees most of my life and I definitely feel that it affects how "beautiful" I feel. Sometimes, though, I realize it's me that makes me feel that way and not necessarily others!

mamasand2 said...

Hi Anne, sorry to come late but my hotmail quit working yesterday. Dang thing.

I have been drooling over "Forbidden Fruit". it sounds great.

The time of feeling less femine(girly?) that sticks out in my memory was when I was still in grade school and being teased. One of the boys(and then his friends too) started calling me sandy beach(my name is Sandra) over and over, in very upsetting way. That is why I finally changing the spelling, and because of a high school boyfriend who came up with it.

I don't waste time thinking about pea brained people who focus on the obvious "heels, a skirt and measured at 36/26/36".

Sandie

Jodi said...

I'm a tomboy at heart. There were only a couple of years during high school that I wore make-up, made sure my hair was done right, etc., because that was the thing to do. Now, I could care less and I only dress up if the occassion warrants it!
However, ask if I am secure with myself and the answer would be no. I would like to lose weight, but I have found with my thyroid that it is very hard to do.

ND Hansen-Hill said...

I think when I was first called "tomboy" it was intended as an insult, but I embraced it! The thing is, when you're little, your influence is as much your family as your friends. I always wanted to work in the garage with my dad. It seemed so much more fun than doing girly things with my mom. Now, I enjoy it all, but being called a tomboy may have been an asset - since I considered it a compliment, rather than an insult. It actually gave me more freedom (at home, anyway) to do what I wanted.

Cheers,
ND/Melody

Cathy said...

I am the eldest of four girls also, and grew up with one sister who was definitely the tomboy, one who was a knock out beauty, one that was skinny and freckled until her 20's and then me, who was shy and cute. We learned early that the inside of a person is what was what important, and being comfortable in your own skin allowed that confidence to show naturally on the outside.

Kelley Nyrae said...

Hey Anne! Loved Forbidden Fruit, but then, I always love your books so I wasn't surprised :)

Virginia said...

I was labled a tom boy when I was growing up and still am. I would rather be out push mowing the lawn then cleaning house any day. I think girls are better off being a little on the tom boy side because they don't grow up before their time. They grow up to fast this day in time.

I think a persons beauty is on the inside, the way they are rather then what they look like on the outside. Sometime a beautiful persons ways and actions can make them very ugly. If you know what I mean.

Judy F said...

Oh the book sounds interesting. Will have to ck it out.

I think some time or another someone has said something that makes you feel less then what you really are. I remember out at a bar with friends when a guy told me I would look cuter without my glasses. Idiot. I can be girlie if I want to be I just rather be comfortable anymore.

Sending lots of love and hugs to Lucy too

Anne Rainey said...

Happy Monday All!
I've had so much fun reading all your comments on this very touchy subject. Now, if we could just convince Cosmo and Glamour to see things our way the world would be a better place!

Onto the the winner: BRANDY! Congrats! You can email me at anne@annerainey.com with the type of file (.pdf or other) you want the ebook in and I’ll send it to you in a jiffy!

Also, AMY, you commented about not being able to get Forbidden Frut after you bought it. All you need to do is send an email to: eredsage@aol.com and they will quickly look into the problem for you. I'm so sorry for the hassles and thank you for buying my book!

:)
Happy Reading,
Anne Rainey